I was thinking (which is sometimes dangerous) about our desire to hear God speak to us. We want direction when we feel directionless. We want to hear an "I love you" when we feel unloved. We want to be comforted when we're lonely. We want to know we're not stranded out in this universe all by ourselves. I know for me this has been a struggle. In the hard trials of life, our desire to hear from God increases sometimes to the point of desperation. But what happens when God's voice is seemingly silent?
I have been at the point where I have begged and begged God to speak to me. The silence has been deafening at times. Talk about feeling rejected. But as I journey through my trials and my life, I'm wondering if there isn't a correlation between how much time I give God and how much He's willing to speak to me. You who are experts in the "hearing God field" will say "duh". But to the untrained, like myself, the light bulb may finally be turning on.
I give God my undivided attention during my prayer time. Okay - so maybe that'll last twenty minutes or so. And let's say I read my Bible for 30 minutes. Plenty of time for God to speak to me, right? I'm like "in the zone" and focused. Seems like a good time to connect. I should be able to hear a message loud and clear. Oh - what's that you say? From a proportionate standpoint I'm actually giving God less than 4% of my day. I'm opening a tiny little window and asking God to speak through it. I’m basically saying “Okay God, I’m listening. I can't hear you. Can you get a little closer because I can’t hear you very well through this small opening?” Sure, one could argue that God has the whole rest of the day to speak to me. But is it possible He doesn’t want to speak to me on my terms - only when I make myself available to listen? What if He'd like to speak anytime He wants to and have me always "in the zone" – ready with listening ears?
I know from experience that it's hard for me to get “in the zone". It’s hard to dial into the right frequency with all the static going on around me. Like everyone else, I've got daily chores, I've got a family with needs, I've got my own wish list, and of course there are other outside influences and let's not forget the television. There's a lot of clutter in life - a lot of interference. No wander I'm having a hard time hearing God speak.
But a question now comes up: Is my lack of hearing because He’s not speaking to me anymore (has He given up on trying to get through all the noise) or is He still speaking and I just can’t hear? (Kind of like trying to ask your child a question when they're clearly focused on the TV. Pretty near impossible to get through.) Maybe God's saying “I’ll come back when you can really make time for me. Maybe then we can have some good conversations again. I love you but please show me that you love me too. You say the words but your actions are what I prefer. You are my creation! I deserve your time and your best.”
So what do I really expect from God? Can I expect Him to focus on me 24 hours a day if I only focus on Him a tiny proportion of the day? How can I expect Him to get a word in edgewise with all that other stuff drowning out His voice and taking away my attention? I do so want to hear His voice, though. I "expect" I'll have to make some changes. I must reduce the static in the airways and practice listening for the still and quiet word of the Lord.
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