Talking Vs. Listening

In my last blog entry "I Don't Have The Right To Be Unhappy" I wondered how God can talk to me if I'm too busy complaining. Well - over the last couple of weeks I have made a concentrated effort to listen better and to stop complaining. And I just want to say - WOW! It does make a difference. It's amazing what you can hear when you stop talking. In just a couple of weeks time - I have heard one particular message multiple times and through multiple mediums. And every time I hear it I know God is trying to tell me something. The best part is that there is no condemnation is His message. What I get is His reassurance that He's working in my life and reassurance of His love. I may just quit taking altogether:-)

Daily Medicine

You know how people with chronic illnesses often take daily medication. The medication is not a cure. It's intended to help control their symptoms. There is an inherent problem, however, in getting rid of the symptoms. When the symptoms go away, the patient can sometimes begin to feel like they are cured. Along with feeling cured comes the temptation to stop taking the medicine. And, of course, when a patient stops taking their medicine, the symptoms of the disease return. It's a vicious cycle.

I've discovered something about myself. I have a chronic illness - not of a physical kind but of a spiritual kind. I don't know its official name but I think it's something like "control-itis". Truth be known I think I also have a little bit of the disease "I-want-it-my-way-itis". I'd rather not have any diseases. I'd rather be spiritually healthy - have a perfect spirit inside me. But I'm human and as such I am flawed. I'm learning to accept my weaknesses. Thankfully there is help. The great pharmaceutical team up above has already done the research. There is powerful medicine to help me with my problem(s). The medication I need comes in the form of a "prayer pill". There is a distinct difference between spiritual medicine and earthly medicine. Earthly medicine is "taken" and is often accompanied by a bitter aftertaste. The "prayer pill" is meant to be "offered" not "taken". There is no bitter aftertaste and it is quite refreshing. But daily medication is required for a healthy spiritual relationship.

I've come to the conclusion that left on my own there are some issues (diseases) I'm always going to struggle with. But I'm adjusting to my medicated lifestyle. Each morning I offer my "prayer pill" and ask God to help me to be happy in the here and now - to be satisfied so that I'm not always putting off the joys of today for tomorrow. I also hand over to God the concerns of my life. They are things I can't truly control anyway (even though I've tried). By daily giving my burdens (or symptoms) to God, I am free to focus on Godly things not worldly worries.

I know at some point, as my symptoms disappear, I'll begin to think I'm cured. I'll start to feel like I won't need to pray those specifics daily. But I firmly believe these are battles I will face my whole life. If I stop taking (or in this case offering) my daily medicine, I'm smart enough to know I will fall back into old patterns. My symptoms will reemerge. The peace of my prayer medicated life will disappear. No, I don't have a problem taking my medicine. I'd rather live in peace (symptom free) than live with the constant struggle.

The list of chronic spiritual illnesses is long. There are many floating around. Maybe you have noticed some symptoms in your own life - symptoms of anger, jealousy, unforgiveness, greed, control, complaining, lack of trust, complacency, patience, etc. Although I am a strong believer in prayer, I am new at praying for my specific "illnesses" on a daily basis. I can attest to the difference it's made in me already in such a short time. I write this piece as an encouragement to others. If you've diagnosed yourself with any spiritual illnesses, try offering some daily medicine. Pray and ask God to help your symptoms go away. If you are willing, He is able to take your burdens (or symptoms) away. He will make you a new creation.

I Don't Have The Right To Be Unhappy

Life isn't always how I want it to be. It doesn't always look like I envision it should look. Of course, there have been moments that have exceeded my expectations but there have also been many detours along my journey. You may have gathered this about me from previous writings but I don't care much for detours. It is my gut instinct to stay focused on the path I think we're (my family's) supposed to be on. My energy and attitude are all about getting us back on the right road. I refuse to accept any kind of permanency. In my mind it is only a detour - it is temporary. I know we're supposed to be on a different road and I won't be satisfied until we get back to it.

My refusal to dig in and accept my surroundings wouldn't necessarily be so bad if the detour was only going to last a couple of months (translation: my frustration with life would only last a couple of months). But what if the detour takes a couple of years or more? Or what if it's not a detour at all and it's meant to be a new life path God wants my family to travel? How long will I live in frustration? How long will I live unhappily? The trouble is I'm not really sure how to tell the difference between a detour and a completely new life path. It seems that if I only knew it was a new life path, I could accept it and move on. As it is - I stay in detour mode - refusing to accept.

The truth is - whether it's a detour or a new life path doesn't matter. Either way God still wants me to accept the path He's put me on. He wants my obedience and my submission. He still wants me to focus on Him not my disappointments. He wants my heart to be right. He doesn't want to hear my whines and complaints. I can't change all of my circumstances but I can change my outlook. I can fight the detour or new life path every inch of the way but I will end up disappointing God, myself and those around me with my attitude. God has plans for me (and my family). How can He tell me what those plans are if I'm too busy complaining that we're not on the road I think we're supposed to be on. A person's attitude affects everything. It affects our enjoyment in life, our relationships with others and more importantly our relationship with God.

I think God completely understands our disappointments. He knows there are times we won't like the road we are on but I think He also expects us to get over it. He want us to realize that no matter what detours we encounter we truly have no reason to be unhappy. I look at it this way - God has given me more than I deserve before I was even born. Not only, has He given me salvation (through the death of His son I might add), but He also loves me deeply and passionately. And if that wasn't enough - and surely it is - He allows me to come to Him and have an intimate, loving relationship with Him. Think about it - the Creator of life takes time to be with me - to nurture me - to guide me - to lovingly rebuke me - to listen to me - to mold me - all so that I can be the child (the precious gem) He knows I can be. I am truly blessed by God's enduring and protective love. I may kick and scream when my road takes a turn. But I will learn to get over it. I don't have the right to be unhappy!