Not The Only One

Have you ever felt distant from God?  I have.  It's a strange sort of feeling to have.  For me, the best way to describe it is the word "lost".  Lost because I know I should feel differently and yet I don't know how to feel differently.  I've had these moments randomly throughout my life.  But one in particular which took place in college I'd like to share.  I attended a Christian school where daily chapels, prayers and devotionals were the norm.  And yet I found myself feeling strangely numb and distant - sort of disconnected with God.  I didn't have a reason why.  I wasn't angry at Him.  Nothing particularly out of the ordinary had happened.  I just had a hard time desiring to pray or read my Bible.  Spending time with God seemed a little like being in a room with a friend you haven't seen for a really long time and suddenly finding yourself at a loss as to how to communicate.  I'm not sure what the cause was for my disconnect but I do know that it bothered me a great deal.  I felt guilty and sad.  With people praising God all around me I felt alone in my dilemma.

One day I made an effort to reconnect.  I picked up my Bible and began reading in Psalm and came across Psalm 143.  The following words written by David resonated with me:

So my spirit grows faint within me;
My heart within me is dismayed.
I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul. (NIV)

It was as if somebody had written down my thoughts (albeit more dramatically).  This passage said to me "You're not alone. Others have gone through this too."  After reading it I think my first thought was a question.  "You mean David felt this way?"  David was a man with amazing faith and he felt distant?  He longed to feel God?"  If he, of all people, could have moments of disconnect then surely I, a mere average being, could have them too.  David regained his closeness with God.  I was hopeful I would too.

I did get out of my rut, funk, whatever you want to call it.  We all go through our moments.  And when we do, it helps to know that even those with the strongest of faith have had their moments too.

How have you found ways to get out of your moments of disconnect? 

Being Thankful First

I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High. Psalm 7:17

Last week was Thanksgiving - a time to reflect on blessings – not only of what we’ve been given but of what has been done for us. But here’s my struggle. I find it too easy to see the things I don’t have and I find it too hard to see the things I do have. In short – I see what I lack before I see what I’m blessed with. It’s a backward point of view, I know. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very thankful for my blessings. When I sit back and think about my life I can see how tremendously blessed I am. My issue is that I often have to make an effort to see them. I want to get to a point where I don’t have to make a conscious effort to see my blessings. I want to open my eyes and see what I have not what I don’t have. I want to wake up being thankful first.

Have you ever been around someone who is thankful first? They don’t spend their time wishing for more. They are perfectly content with what they have and how their life is going? When something bad happens it usually rolls off their shoulders? The motto they live by is simple. It’s “God is in control.” When I’m around people who are “thankful first” I notice something missing (of course I do). I see a lack of complaining. I see a lack of whining. And I wonder how they got to that point. From an early age we are conditioned to see through the wrong set of glasses. We are conditioned to want more. We are basically conditioned to be unsatisfied. How did they recondition themselves? My conclusion is that they made a conscious effort to see their blessings. They made a conscious effort to be thankful. Eventually – it became a new way of life – a better way of life.

My husband relayed a story to me recently of something that happened to him years ago when he was young. There was a person that some of his acquaintances didn’t like and they encouraged him to join them in being mean to this person. He told me that even though he didn’t have anything against this person he caved in. He didn’t feel good about this and it ate at him. After a day or two he realized something (and I think this is a divine revelation because if everybody realized this the world would be a completely different place). He realized it took just as much energy and effort to be mean as it does to be nice. So he made the decision to be nice.

I tell you that story because it relates in this way: It takes just as much energy and effort to praise God as it does to complain to God. Praising God gives us a much better return on our investment. We please Him and we see our lives as full instead of half-empty.

I have a desire to see God’s blessings more easily and to praise Him more frequently. I’ll start (again) by sharing some things I’m most thankful for:

God has given me unending love. He will always reach out to me no matter how far away I go. One of the things I love the most about God is that He never gives up on me – even when I give up on myself. He is committed to the end.

Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. Psalm 106:1

God hears me and He answers me (sometimes in ways that are far greater than I can see or understand).

I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation. Psalm 118:21

There is really no way I can thank God for giving His son – allowing Him to take on my sins – so that I may have freedom. He paid a debt that I could never pay.

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! 2 Cor 9:15

Life may be a struggle especially when fighting the attacks of the evil one. But I’m still a winner and am thankful for the victory.

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Cor 15:57

I am thankful for Heaven and the opportunity to spend time with my eternal family.

Giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. Col 1:12