Not The Only One

Have you ever felt distant from God?  I have.  It's a strange sort of feeling to have.  For me, the best way to describe it is the word "lost".  Lost because I know I should feel differently and yet I don't know how to feel differently.  I've had these moments randomly throughout my life.  But one in particular which took place in college I'd like to share.  I attended a Christian school where daily chapels, prayers and devotionals were the norm.  And yet I found myself feeling strangely numb and distant - sort of disconnected with God.  I didn't have a reason why.  I wasn't angry at Him.  Nothing particularly out of the ordinary had happened.  I just had a hard time desiring to pray or read my Bible.  Spending time with God seemed a little like being in a room with a friend you haven't seen for a really long time and suddenly finding yourself at a loss as to how to communicate.  I'm not sure what the cause was for my disconnect but I do know that it bothered me a great deal.  I felt guilty and sad.  With people praising God all around me I felt alone in my dilemma.

One day I made an effort to reconnect.  I picked up my Bible and began reading in Psalm and came across Psalm 143.  The following words written by David resonated with me:

So my spirit grows faint within me;
My heart within me is dismayed.
I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O Lord;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul. (NIV)

It was as if somebody had written down my thoughts (albeit more dramatically).  This passage said to me "You're not alone. Others have gone through this too."  After reading it I think my first thought was a question.  "You mean David felt this way?"  David was a man with amazing faith and he felt distant?  He longed to feel God?"  If he, of all people, could have moments of disconnect then surely I, a mere average being, could have them too.  David regained his closeness with God.  I was hopeful I would too.

I did get out of my rut, funk, whatever you want to call it.  We all go through our moments.  And when we do, it helps to know that even those with the strongest of faith have had their moments too.

How have you found ways to get out of your moments of disconnect?